Broken Wings
by Trish
Summary: Sometimes life deals you a harsh blow. How do Ash and his friends and family cope with a sudden change in fortune. Deals with deep and sensitive issues. Chapter 3 uploaded. COMPLETE. A Kleenex might come in handy
1. Chapter One: Take These Broken Wings

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Broken Wings

By Trish.

Disclaimer: I don't own Pokémon, or the title of the story or the chapter titles. They come from a song from the 1980's _Broken Wings _by Mister Mister.

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A/N: This story is set when Ash and Co are in their late 30s. Ash - 38. This story deals with a very serious issue - Motor Neurone Disease or MND. If you cannot deal with stories dealing with deep emotions or issues then I suggest you skip this.

Rated PG-13 for serious issues.

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Chapter One: Take these Broken Wings...

The afternoon sun cast long shadows on the walls, as Ash Ketchum rubbed his eyes and placed down the thick management report he had been reading on his desk. The thirty-eight year old Pokémon Grand Master was currently going through the management reports for all the leagues and signing off on approval for their financial allocations for the coming year.

It was a slow and tedious process, each report from each league requiring him to read through and check everything in minutiae.

"Paper work really sucks doesn't it," observed the man sitting across the desk from him, Deputy and fellow Pokémon Master, Gary Oak.

"You're not wrong there," Ash sighed as he leaned back in his comfy leather executive chair.

"You look absolutely wasted," his best friend (and former rival) stated.

"I am a bit tired," Ash admitted. For the past two months he had been putting in constant late hours at work and feeling rather run down. Which made things difficult for his wife Misty and their two children, five year old Matthew and two year old Ciara. 

Gary had been insisting that Ash needed to take a well-earned holiday, but every time Ash tried, something always cropped up so that he couldn't.

"How about we take a break from this and get some coffee," the Viridian City Gym Leader suggested and without further ado, pulled Ash up from out of his chair.

The two friends walked down the corridors of the League headquarters at Indigo Plateau in silence, when Ash suddenly stumbled and had to lean against the wall to stop himself from falling.

"Are you okay?" Gary looked concerned.

"Yeah, I'm fine," Ash waved it off. 

"Did you trip over something?" But there was nothing to trip over.

"No...I think it's just exhaustion catching up to me," Ash decided. "Nothing that a good long rest won't cure..."

_______

Ash took the next two weeks off, but when he returned to work, found that it had not alleviated the weariness one little bit. He had also found his equilibrium was not as good as it should be, often stumbling on level surfaces. He had decided that this was either due to his natural clumsiness or else he had a middle ear infection. He yawned and observed that Gary was still engrossed in one of the reports. "I need some coffee," he spoke up and indicated he was going to the small kitchenette that was off to one side of his office.

Gary nodded and continued reading, when a few minutes later there was the sound of a horrified gasp and the crash of splintering china. The chestnut-haired trainer dropped the report and raced into the kitchenette. His friend was standing there, pale and shaking, staring with wide eyes at the smashed cup of coffee on the floor.

"What happened?" Gary asked.

"Gary...I want you to call Misty," Ash said in a low voice. "And call the League doctor as well..."

"But...why?"

The Grand Master turned haunted eyes upon his friend. "I couldn't even hold the cup...I just couldn't..."

_______

"Hmm..."

The grey-haired doctor sat back in his chair after examining Ash. "Have you had any other problems with your hands, arms or even legs recently?"

"Well I have stumbled a few times recently," Ash answered. "But I thought it might be due to a middle ear infection which can affect one's balance."

Dr. Tom Holbrook shook his head. "There's no sign of any infection in either ear.."

"So what do you think is the cause, Doctor?" This came from Misty who was sitting next to her husband, holding his hand tightly in hers. Gary, who was also there, at Ash's insistence, leaned forward eagerly.

The doctor did not answer straightaway, instead reaching for his card index and flipping through until he found one. He wrote something down on a piece of paper, then looked at them. "It may have something to do with the brain, Misty."

At the look of alarm on their faces, he hastened to add. "It may very well be nothing to worry about, but I would prefer to have one of my specialist colleagues to have a look at you. Just in case..."

Ash hesitated for a moment then nodded. "Whatever you think is best, Doc."

"I'm going to refer you to Dr. Joe Ridgeway, one of the top neurologists in the world and a very good friend of mine from medical school. He's based at _Viridian Memorial Hospital_." The doctor started to punch in the numbers on the phone, then paused. "Any particular date or time?"

"As soon as possible."

"Anything else?"

"Yeah," Gary spoke up. "Can this be kept top secret? We don't want the press finding out about this if possible..."

"No problem there."

_________

Ash drew his robe around him as he sat on the back verandah. It was past midnight and stars in the heavens twinkled brightly around him, the still of the night broken by the occasional chirp of a cricket.

He had been unable to sleep and so had crept out of bed, making sure not to wake Misty or the kids as he walked past their rooms. To sit in the backyard of the house and be alone with his thoughts.

The appointment with the neurologist was scheduled for Monday morning next week.

It couldn't be that serious could it?

But...the recent incident with the coffee cup had shaken him more than he cared to admit. 

It was as if he had no control over his own muscles. He could _think_ that he wanted to pick up and hold the coffee cup, but his muscles wouldn't respond. It was as if they didn't know _how_..

And that really scared him, that he, a grown man was unable to do something so simple as holding a cup. A task that could be done by a six month old baby...

"_Pikapi?"_

A cold wet nose nudged his arm and he looked down to see his favourite Pokémon Pikachu looking up at him with concern in her dark brown eyes.

"Oh Pikachu," Ash sighed and gathered the tiny mouse into his arms and cuddled her closely, burying his face into her warm fur. "I'm just so scared....," he whispered.

He was clutching her like a child to his teddy bear, and yet she did not protest, instead snuggled into him even more.

He didn't know what was going on with his body.

He wasn't even sure that he wanted to.

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What is happening to me?

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Monday morning..

Ash fidgeted nervously as he waited in Dr. Ridgeway's office. Only Pikachu was with him and she was sniffing inquisitively around the room. Misty had stayed home with the kids, so they would not be asking why Daddy was going to a hospital in another city.

Man, he disliked hospitals. Then again who did? Though the past two visits he had made to a hospital were happy occasions, the births of his son and daughter.

The door opened to admit a tall, middle-aged (Ash judged him to be in his early fifties) man with short brown hair and twinkling brown eyes, and a cheerful smile. "Mr Ketchum? Hi, I'm Dr. Joe Ridgeway."

Ash shook the proffered hand and knew instinctively that he could trust him. He had heard that Dr Ridgeway had an undeniable knack for getting along with his patients. He had an ability to put even the most jittery of patients at ease within a few minutes.

"Just call me Ash," he replied with a smile.

"Well then, you can call _me_ Dr. Joe," the doctor boomed cheerily. "It's a pleasure to meet the Grand Master of the Pokémon League. My grandkids all regard you as their role model."

"Thank you."

"And just between you and me, let me just say that we both know that we'd both rather have met anywhere else _but_ here!"

Despite his nerves, Ash found himself smiling. This doctor had a great sense of humour and came across as a nice uncle type of person, rather than a doctor. "You're not wrong there.."

Pikachu chirped and hopped up onto the desk. Dr. Ridgeway grinned and scratched the Pokémon behind her ears making her purr contentedly. "And this is the famous Pikachu! You're a spunky little mouse, aren't you girl? Mighty Mouse has _nothing _on you!"

Ash smirked as Pikachu's chest puffed up with pride. _Flattery, _he thought, **_will_** get you _everywhere, even with Pokémon._

"Now Tom's given me a briefing on your situation. You found yourself unable to pick up a cup?"

"That's right, " the dark-haired Master nodded. "It was if my hands forgot how to, even though I was willing them on.."

"Well, today I'd like to run a series of tests on you. An MRI scan and an EMG test. MRI stands for Magnetic Resonance Imaging where we will run a thorough scan of your body."

"What's an EMG?"

"Stands for Electromyograph. Needles are inserted into various muscles to measure their electrical activity."

Ash winced. Needles...ugh.

"Shall we get started?"

_______

The phone call advising that the test results were in, came late that afternoon. Mrs Ketchum had offered to mind the kids so Misty flew up to Viridian via Pidgeot.

The couple walked into the office and Dr Ridgeway bade them to sit down.

"Ash, the test results have come back and..," he paused, "I don't know quite how to say this...but the results are conclusive that you suffer from Motor Neurone Disease or MND."

Ash felt his chest tighten slightly. "MND?" he echoed.

"MND is a degenerative and progressive disease which affects the motor neurones in the brain. The neurones are needed to control the muscles in our body to enable us to do things like walking. MND attacks these neurones, and disables them. Without the nerves to help activate them, the muscles deteriorate and waste away."

"So that means one day I'll be unable to walk .."

"Or talk, swallow or one day even to breathe," the doctor added softly.

Ash swallowed hard and he felt Misty's hand tighten its grip around his. "Is..is there a cure?"

Dr. Ridgeway shook his head. "There is no cure."

Silence descended over the office as the news was slowly digested.

"I'm so sorry, Ash."

"Oh, no need to apologise, Dr. Joe," Ash managed to reply. "It's not your fault...just...what is the average life expectancy for sufferers of MND?"

"Anywhere between sixteen months and five years."

The dark-haired Master exhaled. "Thank you, Dr Joe. Thank you for being straightforward with me on this."

"I'd like to get this diagnosis confirmed by another neurologist if you don't mind."

"It's fine with me."

________

Misty woke up later that night to hear Ash crying quietly into his pillow. She rolled over and placed her arms around him to hug him tightly. It seemed that the shock of the diagnosis had finally hit him.

"It's going to be all right," she soothed.

"How can it?" Ash hiccupped finally.

"The second opinion tomorrow might prove the diagnosis wrong," Misty offered hopefully.

"Maybe.."

"Oh, honey, you must fight this," she hugged him close to her. "You've overcome so many obstacles in your lifetime. All because you refuse to give up hope. You can fight this too."  
Ash returned her embrace, but did not voice what he knew deep down inside. That this was one battle that he would not win. 

________

He was back at the hospital again two days later, with only Pikachu for company. The second diagnosis had only confirmed the first one, Ash had Motor Neurone Disease, in the form of Amyotrophic Lateral Sclerosis or ASL.

Dr. Ridgeway was to be the specialist looking after his case, with Dr. Holbrook assisting. The Grand Master had been prescribed some medication which should hopefully slow down the progression of the disease, as well as some books and reading material on the subject.

At the end of the consultation, Ash had one request. "Dr. Joe, is it possible for me to visit some patients with MND?"

Dr Ridgeway looked rather surprised. "Certainly. But are you sure that you want to do this so soon?"

The dark-haired man nodded. "I'm positive. I want to see what I could look like in a few months or years time."

_______

The two men walked over to the palliative care section of the hospital, and Ash followed the doctor into one particular ward.

He was confronted with the spectacle of people, mostly men, in wheelchairs or beds. "This ward is mostly full of people in the latter or final stages of MND," Dr Ridgeway said softly.

Ash walked towards one man confined to a bed, who had at present two visitors, a woman and a young man around his twenties.

"Hi there," he introduced himself.

The patient's eyes lit up in recognition, even more so when Pikachu chirped and leapt off Ash's shoulder and onto the bed. Ash could see that the man knew who he was.

"His name is Sam Johnson," the woman said with a proud smile. "I'm his wife, Betty and this is our son Daniel."

"Pleased to meet you," Ash shook hands with a warm smile. He then leaned towards Sam and picked up the limp hand. "Pleased to meet you especially, Sam."

Sam's eyes crinkled at bit, and Ash guessed that he was trying to smile in perhaps the only way he could. Pikachu chirped and nuzzled his other hand and the patient gazed at her fondly.

"He knows who you are," Betty said proudly.

Ash drew a seat and sat down on the other side of the bed. "Do you mind me asking how long Sam has had MND?"

"Two years. He can't walk, he can't move any part of his body, he can't speak and he can't feed himself," the woman answered and Ash could hear the pain in her voice. "But inside, we know it's still Sam in there. He can still think, he can still remember things. He's still a human being..."

"So he knows what's happening to him?"

"Oh yes. He's perfectly aware. He told me that not long before he lost the ability to speak. It's not like dementia, or Alzheimer's where the patients are robbed of their memory or intellect."

Ash nodded and looked at Sam. To all intents and purposes, he looked like a helpless human being, a pathetic shell of a man. But in those eyes, Ash could see the fire of life and knowledge still burning brightly. A prisoner inside his own body.

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This is what I'm going to look like in a few years, he thought with a sinking heart.

He shook himself out of that unpleasant thought in time to hear Betty ask him a question. "So what brings you to visit this ward?"

"Oh, I'm just interested in finding out more about this disease. Not many people know about it."

_________

Misty came downstairs from tucking the kids into bed, and found her husband sitting morosely in the living room.

"How are you?" she said softly.

He didn't answer at first, but then, "I was wondering whether you wanted a divorce."

"WHAT?" Misty was shocked. "What on earth for?"

Ash just looked at her. "Do you really want to be saddled with a husband who's going to be a vegetable in a few months or years?"

"How can you even say that?"

"Well...have you thought about it?"

"Well..I," Misty struggled for words. "I must admit I haven't really thought about it," she finally conceded.

"I'm giving you the option of getting out of the marriage if you want. Because it's not fair on you or the kids."

Misty threw her arms around him and kissed him firmly. "Ash Ketchum, don't you _ever_ think about divorce again. I'm not going to abandon you. I've stuck by you all these years, don't think that I'm going to leave you now when you need me the most."

Ash hugged her tightly. "Thanks."

"We'll get through this," she whispered "Together."

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Gary Oak whistled cheerily as he walked into Ash's office. "Hey Ash," he greeted his friend who was busily writing at his desk.

"Hey Gary," the dark-haired man looked up briefly then resumed writing. A slight breeze from the open window stirred the pile of papers he had beside him and two sheets fluttered to the floor.

Gary bent to pick them up and his eye caught three words written at the top. '_Letter of Resignation_'

"Ash!" 

"What?"

"What the hell are you doing writing a letter of resignation for?" Gary was aghast. Ash couldn't resign...the two had made a pact that they would stay in their positions for as long as they were undefeated so they could achieve their long cherished dreams for the Pokémon League.

Ash put his pen down with a sigh and leaned back in his chair. He gazed out the window for a moment before replying. "The doctors have diagnosed me with Motor Neurone Disease or MND."

"What's that?" Gary had never heard of it.

"It affects the motor neurones which control the muscles in the body. As it progresses, sufferers are no longer able to walk, to feed themselves, or even to talk..."

"But they can do something to cure it can't they?" Gary interrupted.

Ash bit his lip. "There is no cure, Gary," he said quietly. "I could be dead within two years, five at the most."

Gary Oak was not one to be shocked easily, but he was utterly dumbstruck by his best friend's revelation. It seemed completely inconceivable that Ash Ketchum, who, ever since he was a child had been so full of life and energy, would one day be unable to walk or talk.

And yet here was Ash saying that not only would he be unable to do all those things, but that he would be dead within a few years.

The Viridian City Gym Leader could not think of what his life would be like without Ash around. They had grown up together since they were babies, and despite the few years of intense rivalry, had still been involved in each other's lives in some way. They sparked off each other in training, each inspiring the other to reach greater heights.

While he knew that the day would come where Ash would no longer be around in his life, he never expected it to come so soon in the future.

"So you see why I'm resigning?" Ash spoke up again.

"But you don't have to!" Gary blurted out. While he wasn't sure what to make of the situation at the moment, he at least knew that much.

"What?"

"Well, you're not dead yet, are you?"

"No..but.."

"And you're not sure exactly how long it's going to be until you can no longer walk, right?"

"Right.."

"There's nothing in the League rules to say that a person has to be able-bodied to be a Pokémon Master or even a trainer," Gary leaned forward eagerly. He just couldn't let his friend give it all up. "You can still direct and give orders to a Pokémon in battle."

"True..but.."

"No buts," Gary jumped up and grabbed the rest of the draft letter off Ash and before his friend could say a word, had fed it into the shredder.

"Hey!" Ash protested.

"I'm not going to let you give up your dreams and that's that," the chestnut haired trainer stuck his tongue out at him. "There's still so much left for you to achieve."

_________

The Pokémon Grand Master glanced at his watch somewhat nervously. In five minutes he was due to step out in front of a bank of microphones and announce to the waiting media and the world the medical condition that now afflicted him.

But he wouldn't be alone. For with him would be the President of the Pokémon League, the Council, the Elite Four, his parents, Misty and Gary.

After Gary had shredded his resignation he had dragged him to a meeting with the President, Council and the Elite Four. And to his pleasant surprise all were most adamant that he stay on as Grand Master. They had affirmed what Gary had thought, there was nothing in the rules to say that a disabled person could not be a Pokémon trainer or Master.

It had been two weeks since the original diagnosis, and he had only recently summoned up the courage to call the press conference. Gary and the Elite Four had advised against him rushing to tell the news. It was more important that Ash felt himself to be somewhat at peace with his change in fortune.

Two weeks of taking long rambling walks with close family and friends, had given Ash the strength and stamina he needed to face up to the disease, and to facing the public with it. 

For certainly this would be the hardest press conference he would ever have to give.

It was time. Ash took a deep breath and walked out to the podium. The buzz in the room died down at his entrance and the journalists and reporters waited expectantly.

"Ladies and Gentlemen," he began and gripped the sides of the podium firmly. "Two weeks ago, I was diagnosed as having Motor Neurone Disease or MND. As a result, in a years time I may be unable to walk, then unable to talk. As there is no cure for the disease at present, I may not live past my forty-third or even fortieth birthday."

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To be continued...

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Author's Note: I apologise for the long delay between postings, but I work full-time and have been sorting out a few issues. But I'm hoping this marks the start of a comeback for me. This probably sucks majorly as I have most likely lost my 'touch'.

Motor Neurone Disease or MND is a very real disease that not many people know about. It is worse than Alzheimer's or dementia in that the intellect and memory are unaffected. Therefore they are only too aware of their body slowly degenerating. Which to my mind makes it even more horrible.

It affects mostly males and the average life expectancy is 2 to 5 years. There is no cure at present.

I became more aware of this disease after my former neighbour was diagnosed with it. They soon moved out to a single level home that was more easily adaptable for a wheelchair. That was over 2 years ago, I'm not sure if he is still alive now. 

I wrote this story in order to raise awareness of this disease and to remind people that despite their outward appearance, they are still people inside - they think, they remember, they know, they feel emotions. They are still human beings and should be treated as such. They are not to be shunned and left inside nursing homes to be forgotten.


	2. Chapter Two- And Learn To Fly Again

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Broken Wings

By Trish.

Disclaimer: I don't own Pokémon nor do I own the lyrics that the story and chapter titles come from. They belong to a song from the 1980's _Broken Wings _by Mr Mister.

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A/N: The blue cornflower has been adopted by MND associations worldwide as its symbol. It symbolises hope. If you see people selling blue cornflower pins or pens, please buy one. It does not cost much and will go towards funding research towards a cure. Without funds there is no research, without research there is no cure. Without people who care, there is no hope.

For more information go to _http://www.alsmndalliance.org/directory/index.html_

~*~

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Chapter Two: And learn to fly again…

Stunned silence greeted Ash's announcement for a few minutes, before general pandemonium broke out, each reporter with a million and one questions on their lips.

The Pokémon Grand Master held up a hand and pleaded for calm. "Please, only one question at a time."

After a few minutes, they quietened down and Ash indicated to one reporter to stand up. "Sir, How long do the doctors give you before the disease takes away your mobility?"

"They don't really know," Ash said simply. "The rate of progression of the disease varies from case to case. It could be a matter of months or it could be years."

Another reporter spoke up. "You said that there was no cure. What is the prognosis for MND?"

"Anywhere between sixteen months and five years. I'm on medication which should theoretically slow the progression of the disease."

Then came the question that he knew would be inevitable. "What does this mean for your position of Pokémon Grand Master?"

Ash took a deep breath. "I'm not stepping down, if that's what you want to know. I have the full support of the Elite, and the Council of the Pokémon League to stay in this position for as long as I'm physically capable, or until I'm defeated in a Pokémon battle."

"At the moment, we are taking life as it comes, one day at a time. I want to make the most of whatever time I have left. Finally, I would ask your cooperation in respecting mine and my family's privacy at this very difficult time. Thank you."

He stepped away from the podium and walked backstage where he was immediately enveloped in a hug by Misty, then Gary.

"I'm so proud of you," Misty smiled through her tears.

"So am I, Ashy Boy," Gary admitted. "That took a _lot _of courage to do what you just did. I'm not sure if I could have done the same."

"Thanks."

~*~

As expected the story made headlines the next day, on the front page of every newspaper and dominating the news bulletins on television. Some went even so far as to offer their 'expert' opinion on whether Ash should stay or go.

But that was not foremost on Ash's mind at the moment. He had more important things to take care of.

He was sitting under a shady tree with his two children. Ciara was on his lap, while Matthew was snuggled next to him with Pikachu nestled in the five year old's lap.

The dark-haired man wished that he didn't have to do what he was about to do. For it would be one of the most difficult things ever. But it had to be done….

"Kids, I want you to listen to me carefully, as this is important," he began.

Two pairs of small brown eyes regarded him attentively.

"See, your daddy has been told by doctors that he has this sickness…"

"But doctors can make Daddy all better can't they?" Matt piped up. "Doctors can fix anything!"

Ash's heart ached at the simple innocence of his son's statement. _Oh, how I wish that were true._ "But this sickness is the type that doctors can't make go away easily. So one day Daddy might not be able to play with you anymore as he won't be able to walk…"

"Will you be in one of those chairs with wheels?" 

"A wheelchair? Yes.."

"We can still play," Matt decided and scratched Pikachu behind her ears, making the electric mouse purr. The small boy was silent for a moment, then spoke up again. "Will you be there when I'm big enough to go on my Pok'mon journey?"

Ash felt his throat constrict. It would be five more years before his son would be ten years old. The life expectancy for him was anywhere between sixteen months to five years. _How can I tell my kids that I might not be alive in a few months or years? How do I explain to them that I'm slowly dying?_

He hugged both of them closer as he fought the tears that he felt burning behind his eyes. "I ..I hope so, Matt."

Thankfully Matt didn't hear the hesitation in his voice. "Goody."

"I love you, Daddy," Ciara snuggled into her father's chest.

"I love you too, Daddy," Matt joined in and hung tightly onto his arm.

Ash hugged them both tightly. "I love you both, as well. Always and forever."

~*~

The next task, was to inform his Pokémon. He had Meowth assemble them all on the grounds of Professor Oak's laboratory, where he told them the situation, with Gary in attendance.

"So as my days as a Pokémon trainer are limited , I'm giving you all a choice. You can either stay with me and fight for as long as we are able and then retire. Or you can go and become Gary's Pokémon and fight for him."

Gary and all the Pokémon looked startled at this revelation. They had not expected this.

"Or you can be released and live your life as you wish. It is all up to you."

There was a brief moment of silence as the Pokémon all looked at each other, then Pikachu stepped forward and nodded to Meowth. "_Piiiiiiikachu. Pikapi.'_

"None of us are going. We're all staying wid you," Meowth stated.

"But…"

"No buts. You've always been dere for us. Now it's time for us to do the same."

"I…"

"Can it, Ash," Gary chuckled. "You should have known they wouldn't leave you for anything in the world. You have a bond with all your Pokémon like no other."

"I guess you're right."

'_Pikapi!_' Pikachu launched herself at her trainer, as did all the other creatures, knocking the dark-haired Master to the ground. Ash disappeared beneath a wriggling pile of happy Pokémon.

After a few minutes, Gary helped extract his friend from the furry and feathered pile. "I think they're going to have to put a stop to knocking you over soon," he grinned.

"Yeah," Ash brushed himself off.

"Come back to the lab for a bit," the Viridian Gym Leader offered. "Gramps and I have something for you."

The two went back to the lab where they were greeted by the elderly professor. "So how did it go, Ash?"

Ash smiled at his long-time mentor and friend. "They wouldn't leave, and I know that nothing I say will convince them otherwise."

Professor Oak chuckled. "They're stubborn, just like their Trainer."

"I know."

Gary retrieved a wrapped parcel from the table and handed it to Ash. "Here.."

The dark-haired man opened it to reveal a beautifully carved mahogany walking stick.

"I know you don't need it yet, but it's just something that will help you keep your balance," Gary explained. "I…I mean _we_ don't want you falling over."

Ash was touched. "Thanks Gary, and thank you too Professor."

"It was more Gary's idea than mine," the researcher winked.

"Oh?"

"Gramps was involved just as much as I was!" Gary protested.

"Why, Gary…you're getting to be a real softie. See what marriage does to you?"

"Oh shut up, Ashy Boy."

~*~

Later that night, Penny Oak came downstairs from checking on the baby, to find her husband in the study, poring over books and papers.

"Hey Gary," she said softly.

Gary looked up from where he was writing something down, and gave her a soft kiss "Hey, honey."

The brunette glanced down at one of the books. The title read, _Living With Motor Neurone Disease: Advice for Sufferers and their families._ "This about Ash?"

"Yeah." Gary resumed writing.

"You really do care about him."

Gary dropped his pen. "I do not!" he protested. "I'm..just _concerned_, that's all."

His wife just looked at him. "Okay, okay. So I do care about him," he finally admitted. "He's my best friend. More than a best friend actually, he's like the brother I never had."

"We've known each other since we were babies. Two small boys from a small town with the same dreams…And he's always been there for me. Remember when May had that scare with the lump in her breast two years ago? Ash was the one who listened to my rants and raves."

The Viridian Gym Leader sighed and ran a hand through his hair. "I just want to be there for him, to be able to support him to the best of my ability..." Gary smiled sadly. "And because I know that had the situation been reversed Ash would have done exactly the same for me."

Penny hugged her husband tightly. "You might act all tough and arrogant in public, but when it comes to Ash, you're just one big marshmallow."

~*~

The next day, Gary walked into Ash's office to find his friend reading some of the messages of support that had begun to flow in. 

Drake, Orange Crew Leader and Pummelo Island Gym Leader had written a letter and issued a media release on behalf of the Orange League, as had Whitney, Goldenrod Gym Leader on behalf of the Johto League. Both offered unqualified support for Ash's decision.

"How's it going?" Gary asked as he plopped down in the chair opposite the desk.

"Okay," Ash replied. "Everything is business as usual. But this morning…"

Gary noticed the hesitation and prodded him gently. "This morning what?"

"When I walked down the corridors, it seemed as if some people were deliberately avoiding me..."

The Viridian Gym Leader groaned inwardly. _And so it starts…._ "Well, we just have to make sure people are educated about this won't we?"

"Right."

~*~

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Two months later…

An hour before the major meeting of Gym Leaders was to begin, Gary knocked on the door of Ash's office. "Come in," came the reply.

Ash was standing by the desk, handing a few files to former Team Rocket member and now long-time personal assistant, James.

"Ready to go?" Gary asked.

"Yeah," Ash murmured as James handed him the walking stick.

"Did you ring to have the wheelchair on standby?" Gary questioned the lavender-haired ex Rocket.

"I did," James nodded.

Ash had been having trouble walking unassisted for the past few days, relying on the use of a walking stick and someone's arm for support. Sometimes the effort of trying to walk wore him out, so the League kept a wheelchair on hand.

The doctors had informed Ash's family and friends that this did not mean that the dark-haired Master was deteriorating more rapidly than expected. The unpredictability of MND meant that the patient would intermittently experience periods of good health and bad. This just happened to be one of the 'bad' periods.

Gary tried to be there as much as possible to help Ash get around. And if he couldn't he had instructed James or the Pokémon to keep an eye on him. Gary had read that MND sufferers often fell without warning. Ash didn't need broken limbs on top of everything else.

The chestnut-haired trainer stood by his friend and crooked his arm, as Ash held onto him and supported the rest of his weight on the cane. The two made their way slowly to the large conference room where the Gym Leaders from all three Leagues as well as the Elite Four were gathering.

As they entered, all eyes swivelled towards them. Drake assisted Gary in helping Ash to his chair. Once he was settled, the Pokémon Grand Master rapped the table. "Shall we begin?"

A hand was raised. It was Chuck from the Johto League. "I propose a motion requesting that our esteemed Grand Master step down from his position due to his evident physical deterioration."

"And why should he?" Lance enquired.

"Because you can't be a Pokémon trainer, much less a Master if you can't walk!"

"There is nothing in the League Rules to say that disabled people cannot become Trainers," Lorelei murmured.

"Then why aren't there any?"

"Perhaps because they encounter obstacles such as making the journey needed to get from gym to gym," Sabrina added.

"Who in this room supports the motion?" Lance interrupted.

Slowly some hands were raised. Chuck, and Ash wasn't too surprised at seeing Rudy's hand up, Lieutenant Surge, Claire's and…_Brock's?_

Ash was completely taken aback. Brock thought he should stand down just because he had trouble walking. He thought Brock was his friend…more than a friend…he thought he was like a brother.

"All those not in favour," Lance continued. The rest of the room raised their hands in a show of support. "I think the nays have it."

~*~

An hour later, the meeting adjourned for a coffee break. Gary assisted Ash to the bathroom and waited outside until his friend had finished

They were a foot away from the entrance to the room when they overheard someone laughing loudly. "Do it again, Brock!"

"Look at me," Brock's voice came out quavery and feeble, as if he was an old man. "I'm Ash Ketchum, Pokémon Grand Master!" Raucous laughter followed.

The two men froze just outside the door. Gary couldn't believe what he was hearing. Brock wouldn't make fun of Ash like that, would he?

"He really should quit," Brock continued. "After all the Pokémon Grand Master is the top representative of all that is the Pokémon League, and should be a superb physical specimen, like myself. And not a _pathetic_ cripple who can't walk by himself."

Ash flinched visibly and paled at the harsh words. Gary looked at him with a worried frown. "You want to go in?"

The dark-haired Master took a deep breath. "Yeah."

The two men walked in the room and everyone looked up. Ash fixed Brock with a hard gaze and said calmly, "Well the pathetic cripple is back in the room."

"I don't know what you mean by that."

"You liar!" Gary burst out. "We both overheard you say that Ash was a pathetic cripple who shouldn't be Pokémon Grand Master!"

There were a few gasps from others in the room, who had not overheard Brock's statements.

"Why, Brock, why?" Ash spoke up again. "How could you say that?"

The Pewter City Gym Leader said nothing.

"I thought you were my friend…." Ash shook his head in disbelief. "I think it's quite obvious why there are not many disabled trainers in the Leagues. Because of the _blatant_ prejudice and discrimination of the type of which I have just had the misfortune to witness here."

"Maybe I can't walk without help now, but that does not mean I am any less of a person than any of you. I still have a heart, I still have a mind, I still can think and feel."

"But the difference is that I have a rather rare disease which robs me of the ability to do a lot of things that we all take for granted. And being physically different is something to be derided, to be feared, to be mocked in our society."

"I can't help the fact that I have MND. Just the same as disabled people cannot help the fact that they are the way they are. But we are still people. A physical handicap does not mean that the mental faculties are impaired."

"We can still speak, we can still give orders to Pokémon. A trainer is not physically involved in the battle with the exception of some of the Orange League gyms. There is no reason why disabled trainers should not take part."

"As for the question of what makes a Pokémon Master….it is not pure brute strength which will win a battle. It is a combination of strength and strategy, and the strength of the bond between the trainer and Pokémon. It is also a question of _inner_ strength, the will to overcome any obstacle that one may face."

"I'm not stepping down yet. And I will make it my mission to do all that is in my power to ensure that the Pokémon League is open to all who wish to enter, able-bodied or otherwise." He paused. "Meeting is now over."

Gary beckoned James over. The former Team Rocket member hurried to his side. "I want you to help Ash back to his office. I'll be along shortly."

James nodded and crooked his arm so that the dark-haired Master could get a good grip, then slowly led Ash out of the room.

As soon as he was sure they were out of earshot, Gary turned on Brock. "How dare you call Ash a pathetic cripple! More importantly, how could _you_ of _all_ people say that about him? You who Ash regards as one of his oldest and dearest friends? Like the older brother he never had? How could you say such things?"

"Well he is a cripple," sniffed Brock. "And it's pathetic that he can't walk without help."

"Do you think that he _wants_ to be this way? Or that he deserves to have this disease?"

"Not many people get this MND, so he must have done something to deserve it."

Gary was furious. "I can't believe you just said that. Nobody deserves to get MND or any other terminal disease or condition!"

Brock was silent.

"Have you read anything about the disease?"

"No."

"So just because Ash has got this rare disease which is going to eventually kill him, you're going to treat him like a leper and abandon him when he needs you." Gary shook his head. "And here I thought I was the cold-hearted arrogant ass that treated Ash like dirt, as I did do once. But I eventually came to my senses, and thank God that Ash had never really given up on me as a friend all these years."

"I've read about this disease and quite frankly it scares me knowing what Ash is going to go through. But I'm not going to let that stop me being there for him as a friend."

"MND cannot be transmitted from person to person, so there is no need to think that just by touching him or being in the same room with him that you are going to get it. It only affects the motor neurones in the brain, the ones that control our movement, speech, swallowing and breathing. It does not affect the intellect or memory, nor are the senses. So even when Ash is a complete invalid, he is still a living, breathing, thinking human being with feelings."

"Eventually, the disease will progress to the point that he cannot speak, he won't be able to tell us if he is in great pain or not. Can you imagine how frustrating it must be for people who are still mentally alert, that they cannot communicate?"

"Ash may even have to have a gastronomy later, if he has too much difficulty swallowing. A tube will be surgically inserted into the stomach through the upper abdominal wall."

Gary sighed. "How could anyone possibly say that a person deserves to go through all that?"

~*~

__

A few days later…

"You have a very nice house, Ash."

"Thanks."

Ash had gone back to Pallet for a few weeks, and he and Misty had invited Rob and Terese Lawson over for lunch. Rob was a fellow sufferer of MND as well as a patient of Dr. Ridgeway and he and Ash had become good friends during their many visits to the hospital and the MND ward.

The specialist encouraged his patients and their families to get to know one another. The presence of a support network, he said, was imperative. Being in regular contact with others in the same situation was beneficial for not only the patient, but also for the primary care-giver.

Misty and Terese had bonded immediately. Both were young, and with young children. Both of their husbands were stricken with the disease when young. Each of them knew that they could lean on each other for support or a hug when things were difficult.

Terese was also at the house that day for another reason. The occupational therapist had come in with builders recommended by the hospital to advise on what alterations to the home needed to be made to accommodate Ash's future needs.

Rob had been confined to his wheelchair for the past four months, so Terese had been all through this before. She was there to support Misty through the decision making process, the redhead being confronted for the first time, with the harsh reality of her husband's condition.

It was increasingly unlikely that Ash would be able to make the trip upstairs soon, the effort becoming too much for him. A room on the ground floor would be modified into a bedroom with an ensuite bathroom for him. Handrails would be fitted around the house and a ramp installed at the front of the house to allow for wheelchair access.

An electric bed which could be adjusted to a variety of positions with a push of a button and side rails was ordered. As well as a segmented overlay mattress and specialised pillows.

While the two women were busy with all this, Ash and Rob were quietly talking.

"Something's eating you," Rob said suddenly. "What's up?"

The dark-haired Grand Master sighed. "A few days ago, the guy who I had always regarded as the big brother I never had, who had been with me on my journey from the beginning…called me a pathetic cripple and looked as if he wanted nothing to do with me." Ash shook his head. "I felt so betrayed, so hurt. I…I never thought that Brock of all people would act like this towards me."

"I know how you feel. But unfortunately that's really what you're going to experience from now until the end. People shunning you, making fun of you..treating you like a leper. Especially when they find out that it's a disease to do with the central nervous system." Rob smiled rather bitterly. "My two brothers _disowned_ me when I was first diagnosed. Said that they never wanted to have anything to do with me ever again, for I was _tainted _with this disease. Fancy that, my own flesh and blood!"

"It's all because not many people know about MND. What people don't know, they fear. What they fear, they shun. Plus they feel uncomfortable because they have no idea of what we're going through. What the public needs is more education and awareness."

The man looked over at Ash. "You, my friend are in a position to do something about this. Your high profile has meant that this disease has received more publicity than it has previously. It could mean more money for research into a cure. You can be the voice for those among us who can no longer speak"

"That's true," Ash agreed.

"The cure may be discovered too late to save us, but if we can help save some other person from undergoing the same suffering, well…."

"That's the kind of legacy I'd like to leave," Ash finished for both of them.

~*~ 

"Ivysaur! Solar Beam!"

Ash and Gary watched as the Pokémon fired off a powerful beam of light towards the charging Donphan, hitting it head on and effectively knocking it out of commission ending the battle.

The two masters had come across the battle in one of the local parks as they were taking a walk. What caught their eye about this particular one, was that one of the trainers, a fourteen-year-old girl, was in a wheelchair. It was she who commanded the Ivysaur.

As the men watched, two older teenagers, a boy and a girl ran over to her and wrapped her in a big hug. "I'm so proud of you, Lil Sis!" the boy exclaimed.

Ash and Gary exchanged glances. "Shall we go over?"

"Yep."

At their approach, the three teens' eyes widened as they recognised their faces.

"Uh, hullo, sirs," the young man stuttered.

"No need for formalities," the Grand Master smiled. "Just call me Ash."

"Just call me Gary," added the Viridian City Gym Leader.

"My name's Becky," offered the girl in the wheelchair. "That's my older brother Steve, and my cousin Lisa."

"Pleased to meet you. You're a very good trainer, Becky," Ash stated, looking the girl in the eyes.

"Thank you."

"Have you been on your Pokémon journey yet?" Gary inquired.

"I started two years ago, but then the accident happened. I haven't been on a journey since." The disappointment on Becky's face was evident.

"She was hit by a drunk driver, and became a paraplegic," Steve spoke up. "And she was doing really well too. But because of all the obstacles she faced with her disability and some of the discrimination she came across…she gave up. But because we know that Pokémon is her great love, Lisa and I have been taking periodic breaks in our journeys to help her train her Pokémon and give her battles."

"That's very sweet and considerate of you," Ash grinned.

"I would do anything for Becca."

"Can you tell us what kind of discrimination happened?" 

"I'd rather not say," the girl mumbled.

"They called her a spastic and a retard," her brother spoke up, the anger evident in his eyes. "Just because she doesn't have the use of her legs, they think she can't do anything. But she's as good a trainer as the rest of them."

"After what we just saw, I'd agree with you," Gary piped up.

"How would you like to be able to go on your Pokémon journey, Becky?" Ash asked quietly.

Her face lit up. "I'd love it! But how would I get to places?"

Steve ruffled her hair. "You're forgetting that I'm nineteen and can drive, Becca. I'd go with you."

"So would I," Lisa added.

"Because if you can battle just like you did today in front of a group of very important people…I think that we can make your dreams a reality," Ash stated with a smile.

As it turned out, Becky did not lose her nerve, triumphing over another trainer in front of a crowd comprising of the Elite Four, and the Heads of the Indigo, Orange and Johto Leagues. Proving that disabled trainers could battle and battle well.

The road was open for disabled trainers to join the League.

~*~

The next few months passed by in a whirlwind of activity for Ash. Much needed reforms and rules needed to be worked out and approved across the board with the admission of disabled trainers. The Orange Crew instigated the option for fighting in a regular Pokémon battle at the Mikan and Navel Island Gyms. The Johto League would implement some changes as well. As Pokémon Grand Master, all these changes were subject to Ash's approval.

It was just over a year since his diagnosis.

~*~ 

Ash woke up from his afternoon nap and stretched. He was taking naps through the day as he suffered fatigue very easily as a result of MND. He went to wriggle his toes and froze. Nothing happened.

He tried again and concentrated hard on the movement. Still nothing happened. _Oh my god, I can't move my feet…_

Feeling slightly panicky, he began to move himself towards the edge of the bed.

Gary was training Chikorita and Bulbasaur to carry drink trays with their vines (he had reasoned that Ash's Pokémon could help him, like a Pets-as-therapy thing) when he heard an almighty thud.

The chestnut-haired trainer rushed into Ash's bedroom to see the Grand Master sprawled on the floor beside the bed.

Ash looked up and Gary swore he could see tears in the dark eyes. "Please…get Misty for me. I can't use my legs anymore…."

__

To be continued…

~*~

__

Author's Note: Please do not say that Brock is OOC. Remember that this is set when they are in their late 30s, early 40s. People can change, and no one knows exactly how they would react to a situation like this. I read an account of someone who had a terminal disease, and they were surprised to find that those who they expected to be there for them, abandoned them. Those people that they least expected, were often the ones who stood by them.

There was a man by the name of Keith with MND in the nursing home where my gran was before she died. He was a former executive for IBM. His brothers disowned him when he was first diagnosed. Yet when you said something to him, you could see there was intelligence in his eyes. He knew. He just couldn't speak.

His best friend Mike visited him every day, often driving from work in his lunch hour to help feed and care for Keith. He would even come in on weekends. He was more of a brother to Keith then his flesh and blood were. A more perfect example of best friendship I have never seen.


	3. Chapter Three: Learn to live so free

_Broken Wings_

_By Trish._

Disclaimer: I do not own Pokémon nor the chapter titles which belong to a song from the '80s _Broken Wings_ by Mr Mister.

_A/N: This final chapter is dedicated to all those who are afflicted with MND and their families. For your bravery, courage and ability to smile through the tears, I salute you._

~*~

_Chapter Three: Learn to live so free_

_Clunk._

Gary, Penny and Misty winced as the sound reverberated through the house. There was a pause, then another clunk, followed by swear word or two. Obviously Ash was having difficulty manoeuvring around.

Two weeks had passed since the doctors confirmed that MND had now deprived Ash of the use of his legs. The Pokémon Grand Master now had to adjust to life confined to a wheelchair.

It had not been easy for him or his family. Misty had to face the fact that her husband's condition had deteriorated and that she could no longer rely on his continuance as the main breadwinner and handyman about the house.

Matthew and Ciara, had accepted the change in their family situation surprisingly well. The first two days immediately after had been awkward. No one could forget the sight of four-year-old Ciara taking Ash by the hand and imploring her daddy to get up and walk. James had had to quickly wheel Ash out of the room before the child saw her father burst into tears.

But then the two children adjusted and made sure they thought of games where their dad didn't have to be mobile to join in. Gary thought that most admirable, but then it was a well-known fact that children accepted things more readily than adults.

As for Ash himself, he had gone under a marked personality change. He had become more withdrawn after the doctor's visit and would not speak much to anyone. This was so much unlike the Ash they knew, but the counsellor reassured them that social withdrawal was the average reaction of sufferers at this stage of the disease. Not only was it a total shock to lose the use of their legs, it was a jarring reminder of their body's rapid deterioration and their impending mortality. Ash just needed space to be able to come to terms with MND in his own way and own time.

There was another thunk and a few more swear words. Gary grinned wryly at the two women. "I'd better go and see if he's okay before he ruins the woodwork."

The Viridian Gym Leader walked into the living room where his friend was. The dark-haired man had gone to a corner bookshelf but a sofa made the passageway out rather difficult. "Need help?" he asked.

Ash looked up at his words and Gary could see the frustration in his eyes. "If you would," he mumbled.

The chestnut-haired trainer moved the sofa away and then wheeled his friend out, and was startled when Ash began crying. Gary dropped to his knees beside his friend and gathered him into a hug. "What's wrong?"

"I can't seem to do anything right! I can't move around properly in this damn wheelchair yet.." the exasperation was clear in his voice. "I...I just wish I could do the things I could before..."

"You just need time to get used to the chair, Ash. It's only been two weeks..." Gary gave him another hug, as there was nothing else he could say to alleviate his friend's pain.

~*~

The phone rang, startling Ash from where he was catnapping in his wheelchair. "I'll get it," he called out to the kitchen where Misty was preparing lunch.  
  
"_Bulba_". Bulbasaur, who had been closest, brought the cordless phone over to Ash in its vines.  
  
The Pokémon Master grinned at his Pokémon. "Thanks, Bulbasaur." He scratched the small dinosaur-like Pokémon behind the ears which Bulbasaur adored.  
  
"_Buul_."  
  
Twenty minutes later, Misty looked up from the kitchen counter to see her husband wheel himself into the room. It had been one and a half months since he had been confined to a wheelchair and he was now extremely proficient at getting around. In fact his young friend Becky had taught him how to do wheelies and other stuff, and the two often held races in the large backyard.  
  
"Who was that?" she asked as she arranged the sandwiches on a platter.  
  
"Betty Johnson. Sam died in his sleep last night."  
  
"Oh no.." Misty put a hand to her mouth. "I'm sorry to hear that..."  
  
"Me too. She told me that at least..at least he's no longer in any pain.."  
  
"True."  
  
Ash hesitated before he said the next part. "Betty asked us to Sam's funeral to be held next week."  
  
The redhead stared at her husband. "Do..you want to go? I can go by myself if you don't want to."  
  
"No, I'll go too." Ash shook his head. "Our group at the hospital have a vow. That we'll stand by each other until the end. And that those of us who can, will go to the funerals."  
  
But later that night after going to bed, Ash found himself unable to sleep and full of doubts. _Do I really want to go? Would it be wise for me to go? I mean, wouldn't it be rather like going to a rehearsal of my own funeral? Would it be too uncomfortable to see the coffin, knowing that could be me in a few years?  
_  
Would it be wrong for him not to go and just send Misty in his place?  
  
But he had promised. And Ash always tried to keep his promises.  
  
Plus Sam was his friend.   
  
And so he would go.

~*~

_A week later_…

The day for the funeral came, and Misty noticed Ash baulked for a bit before wheeling himself into the church by the side entrance.   
"Are you sure you want to do this?" she asked in concern.  
  
A familiar look of determination came over his face and he nodded. "I need to do this."  
  
Daniel gave a moving and beautiful eulogy for his father, saying that he would always admire his courage and bravery in facing the disease. That his father would try to find something positive from having MND. "He said to me one day that the only good thing to come from this, was that it brought us closer together as a family. He also said that MND made him appreciate life, family and friends like never before."  
  
He ended by saying that he would not remember his father as he was during the last two years of his life, but as he was before the disease entered his life. "You can shed tears that he has gone. Or you can smile that he has lived."

~*~

_Two months have passed…_

It was a fine warm afternoon and the sounds of children's laughter floating in from the garden was pleasant music to Gary Oak's ears. He was sitting with Ash on the back patio of the Ketchum's house watching the two kids play chasings while Misty was out for coffee with her sisters.  
  
A slight squeaking of wheels reminded Gary that his friend was now confined to a wheelchair.

Ash was watching his children playing, allowing Gary to discreetly scrutinise his face and try to imagine what the dark-haired man must be thinking.  
  
It had to be extremely difficult for him, to watch them playing and to know that he couldn't play with them like other fathers could.  
  
The entire situation must be hellish for him. The Grand Master could no longer walk, and was finding it increasingly difficult to control the movements of his hands, arms and upper body. So, last week he had submitted his resignation as the Pokémon Grand Master, effective immediately. Further progression of the disease left him unable to do his job properly and he wanted to spend as much quality time with his family as he could.

Ash broke the silence, gently stroking a slumbering Pikachu. "Must be nice to be able to run around like that." His voice was wistful and with an undertone of resignation.  
  
"Ash," Gary blurted out. "How can you be like that?"  
  
"Be like what?"  
  
"So calm, so accepting of the situation! If that was me, I'd be raging and yelling and screaming at the injustice of it all!" The Viridian City Gym Leader gestured at his friend. "People make fun of you, call you a cripple and shun you for having this disease. You're in a wheelchair and you need someone to change your diapers."  
  
Gary winced at his bluntness when Ash flinched slightly at the last sentence. "Sorry about that, Ash..."  
  
"That's okay," Ash waved it off, and gave a hollow laugh. "As for how can I be so accepting....well there's not much I can do about it. There's no cure..."  
  
He sighed. "Believe me, at first I raged and screamed about it in private. Why me and all that."  
  
The Pokémon Master looked down, then up at his friend. "Yes it does hurt when people shun me. It is humiliating and degrading that I can't look after myself...but there is nothing that I can do about it."  
  
"What really is the hardest thing for me, is how this will affect Misty and the kids. Misty will have to raise them all by herself...and she'll have a complete invalid for a husband. As for the kids...it's hard for me to hear them talk about what they're going to do in the future."  
  
Gary nodded and patted his friend's hand comfortingly for tears glimmered in the dark brown eyes.  
  
"Because I won't be there," Ash continued. "I won't see them grow up, I won't get to walk Ciara down the aisle..." he took a deep breath. "But I decided not long after I knew...that despite whatever happens to me, I'm still Ash Ketchum. I am still a human being with feelings and rights and dignity."  
  
"I want to make the most of my life while I still can."

~*~

Ash was true to his word. Since physical activity was becoming increasingly out of the question, he kept himself mentally active. He arranged for a best selling novelist to collaborate on his biography, which he had put off until now despite numerous requests.

He listened to audio books, and kept himself abreast of developments regarding disabled trainers through Becky.

He made speeches on what it was like to live with MND.

He took great delight in spending time with his children, and Gary's little one. Listening intently to their visions of the future, and encouraging them to aspire to be the very best they can be. Never letting on how much it hurt to know that he would not be around to see it.

~*~

Misty walked into the office of Dr Ridgeway for the meeting that he had rung her about two days ago. She had left for Viridian after Delia had offered to come over and look after Ash and the kids.  
  
"Misty!" Dr Ridgeway boomed cheerfully. "How are you?"  
  
"Well thank you, Doctor," Misty smiled as she slipped into the chair in front of his desk.  
  
The doctor sighed melodramatically. "Ah, we've known each other more than a year and you still forget to call me Joe."  
  
"Sorry," Misty grinned.  
  
"Yeah right," the doctor snorted. "Anyway, I'd like to introduce you to Angela Duncan, a social worker who's attached to the hospital."  
  
He indicated a middle-aged woman who was sitting just to the side of his desk. "Misty, this is Angela. Angela, I'd like you to meet Misty Ketchum."  
  
"Nice to meet you."  
  
"Nice to meet you too."  
  
Dr Ridgeway leaned forward on his desk. "What we wanted to discuss with you was...have you thought about the future yet?"  
  
"The..future?" Misty was confused.  
  
"What I mean," the doctor explained. "Is that have you given a thought to what you are going to do if and when Ash's condition proceeds to the next stage?"  
  
She shook her head. "No...I haven't."

"That's quite okay," Dr Ridgeway said kindly. "I know that its not something that you want to think about, but it does need to be addressed. You are aware that as the disease progresses that Ash will lose more of his mobility and come to rely on you more and more? That eventually, he will be as helpless as a newborn infant?"

Misty nodded mutely.

"You have two young children, is that correct?" Angela enquired.

"That's right. Matthew is six and Ciara is four."

"You must also take them into account," the woman continued. "Eventually you may need to place your husband into a nursing home or a palliative care unit."

The redhead gasped at the suggestion. "I couldn't do…"

"I think its something you should seriously consider," Angela urged gently. "Ash may soon need full-time care to help feed him, bathe him, give him massages. Your children are still at the stage where they crave their mother's attention. Could you possibly give equal time to them all? Is it fair to your children if you are spending all your time looking after their father? They may even come to resent him."

Misty was silent.

"In a nursing home, they will be able to provide your husband with all the care that he needs, around the clock."

"I think we should leave it there," Dr Ridgeway interrupted. "This is not a decision to be made lightly. Misty needs to go home and think about it carefully. And…" he held up a finger, "most importantly she needs to discuss it with Ash. As the patient he has every right to be involved in any decisions involving his future. Sometimes I'm afraid that we, in the medical profession, lose sight of the fact that patients are human beings and not objects."

~*~

"I don't know what to do," Misty confessed a half hour later as she sat clutching a cup of coffee. She was sitting in the living room with Delia and Delia's older brother Peter (who was Ash's favourite uncle) discussing the meeting while Ash was having a rest.

"I really don't like what she says, but I can also see she has a good point when it comes to the children," the redhead buried her head in her hands. "I just don't know what to do.."

"Sometimes children can surprise us with how well they can cope," Delia ventured. "But really, I think the decision should be left to Ash.."

"How are your finances?" Uncle Peter wanted to know.

"I've talked with the accountant," Misty shrugged. "And he says that with the earnings Ash has made over the years and the investments we've made - we're set for life. And then there's Ash's life insurance which I thought we'd never have to use until we were in our late eighties…"

Just then Pikachu came scampering out to let them know that Ash was awake. The three walked in and sat around the bed.

"Ash," Misty began. "Dr Ridgeway and the social worker said that we should discuss what happens when the disease progresses to the next stage. The social worker suggested that you go into a nursing home…but the doctor said that it was up to you."

The dark-haired man was silent for a few moments. "Could we afford everything I need?"

"Yes. We have more than enough."

"Could you cope?"

"I…don't really know," his wife admitted truthfully. "But I will do my best."

"Then…I would like to die at home."

~*~

_Two months later…_

Gary walked into the house for his daily visit with Ash, when Misty rushed up to him.  
  
"Thank God you're here!" the redhead cried in relief. "Could you go and speak to him? He's been down in the dumps saying that he wants out and he won't talk to me!"  
  
The Viridian Gym Leader nodded and entered the bedroom. Ash was there in a special chair designed for invalids. The Pokémon Master now required a full-time nurse, MND now having progressed to denying him the use of his arms and upper body.  
  
Pikachu peeped up from where she was snuggled on his lap. "_Pika_!" she chirped.  
  
"Hey Ash," Gary greeted carefully.  
  
The dark-haired man moved his head to see him and said three words. "I want out."  
  
Gary sighed and sat down beside his friend. "In other words you want to commit suicide…"  
  
"Yes."  
  
"Why?"  
  
"Why?" Ash stared at him in disbelief. "Why? Just look at me, Gary! I can't do anything for myself now. I need to be fed, to be changed, to be bathed. I'm helpless!"  
  
He continued on in a bitter tone. "I'm a worthless invalid now, of no use to anyone. And soon I'll be almost a complete vegetable! What's the use…"  
  
It was obvious to his friend that the psychological toll on Ash was beginning to show. He had always been such a 'get up and go' person, to whom everything had to be done _immediately_ and with great enthusiasm. The ruthlessness and unpredictability with which MND took away his abilities would have been a real crushing blow, even to such a strong-willed person as Ash.

Whatever he felt about his situation though, he mostly kept to himself. The only clue as to how he felt, was when his voice sometimes betrayed his sense of frustration. Or in the combined look of humiliation and indignation that burned in his eyes when he had to be changed or bathed.

"Now listen here," Gary said firmly. "You are NOT worthless. And what is it that you once told me. That despite everything you are still Ash Ketchum?"  
  
"And you shouldn't listen to what some people are saying. You have done more things than many other people will ever do in their lifetime. You have made a difference to countless of people's lives. People look up to you. _I_ look up to you. And you know how hard it is for me to admit that?  
  
Ash managed a small smile. "Thanks."  
  
Gary grinned. "No problem. You've become like a brother over the years. Not that I blame you for flipping out like this. I could not even begin to imagine what you must be going through…"

~*~

_One month later_

Misty ushered in Gary and Tracey into the bedroom where Ash lay and then closed the door softly as she left. Pikachu was curled up next to the former Pokémon Grand Master where his arms lay limply on the covers. The bed had been adjusted so that Ash was in a more upright position. He was now experiencing breathing and swallowing difficulties and sitting more upright helped to alleviate the pressure on his chest.

Tracey was the first to break the silence. "Hey Ash. Misty said that you wanted to see us."  
  
"I did." Ash nodded. "I wanted to discuss with you guys....about...you know...after I go."  
  
"Don't talk like that," Tracey said quickly. "You don't know when that will be..It may be years away..."  
  
"The exact reason why it needs to be discussed _now_," the dark-haired Trainer insisted. "While I still can..." 

He paused. "It may be years away...but honestly who would want to stay like this? Trapped in their own body...completely aware of their physical deterioration and how the disease seeks to strip you of every last shred of human dignity?"

"I'm tired. I am getting _so_ damn tired. Its becoming such a major effort just to get through each day. My strength is sapped come nightfall. I don't know how much longer I can continue to fight this disease ... I'm not sure that I want to. Where's the quality of life? My body has become like a prison now ... .death would be a blessed release."

The former Master then fixed them with a dark gaze. "Promise me..."  
  
"Promise me that you'll look after Misty and my mother? Promise me that you'll be there for my children as they grow up? That you'll be there when they start their journeys? That you'll be there to walk Ciara down the aisle?"

Ash took a deep breath to control himself. "Promise me...that you won't let them forget me.. "

Both men nodded and each grasped one of his hands. "We promise."

Ash smiled once and then closed his eyes. A few minutes later he was sound asleep, with a peaceful look on his face that came with the lifting of a great burden from his mind.

Gary exchanged a glance with Tracey.

"We won't let you down," the artist vowed softly.

Gary nodded. "Those kids are going to make you proud." 

~*~

The second anniversary of Ash's diagnosis soon came and went. Two years of constant stress, but everyone involved appeared to be coping well. Or so it seemed…

Gary put the book down with a sigh when the study phone rang. His wife had gone over to drop off some home-made cake at the Ketchum's and so, he was the only one there.  
  
"Hello?"  
  
"Honey?" It was Penny and she sounded frantic. "You must come over here right now!"  
  
"What? What's happened?" Gary felt the alarm creeping into his voice. Had something happened to Ash?  
  
"Its Misty. She's packing a suitcase and grabbing stuff for the kids...I'm afraid she's going to run out on Ash..."  
  
"Oh god...I'll be right there."  
  
"I've already rung Delia....the girl just won't listen."  
  
A few minutes later Gary reached the Ketchum's at the same time as Delia, and together the two raced into the house and into the upstairs bedroom where Misty was frantically packing.  
  
"Misty! What the hell are you doing???" Gary gasped.  
  
The redhead glared at him as she threw in a few more clothes. "What does it look like I'm doing??? The kids and I are leaving and that's that!"  
  
"You can't just abandon Ash!" Delia pleaded with her daughter-in-law.  
  
"Yes I can! And its not as if this concerns any of you!" Misty shot back.  
  
"That's where you're wrong, Misty," Delia said firmly. "You may think you're the only one who's involved in this tragedy, but you're not. Ash is my _son_, and anything to do with my son is my concern."  
  
"And Ash is my best friend," Gary added.  
  
Misty started to say something but then crumpled onto the bed in tears. "I just can't take it anymore," she sobbed. "The disease is just getting worse and he can't do anything except just lie there. He can't move his legs or his arms, he can't feed himself....heck he can't even talk or stay awake for very long. "  
  
She buried her face in her hands. "It hurts so much to see him like this...I remember what he was like....I just can't watch him slowly waste away...and to know there's nothing I can do to save him!"  
  
Delia sat down and drew the distraught young woman to her. "It's okay, Honey. And I know what you're going through....Don't you think that its just as hard for me to see him like this? Ash is my only child...and I look at him now and remember what a happy, energetic, sweet little toddler he was...  
  
The older woman's voice cracked a bit. "I also remember how he told me, just a few years ago...that he'd always be there to look after me when I got old...You never ever dream that you just might bury your child first..."  
  
Misty hugged her mother-in-law tightly.   
  
"It may not be fair to you," Gary spoke up quietly when Delia did not continue. "But did you also consider that it may not be fair to Ash?"  
  
"Huh?"  
  
"Knowing Ash, the last thing that he would want is to be a helpless burden on people. And yet MND has reduced him to such a state...It's not his fault, yet by abandoning him you're implying that it is. And had the situations been reversed...Ash would never consider walking out on you. He's never given up on anyone or anything."

Delia spoke up again. "And remember what you promised in your wedding vows all those years ago? For richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health…"

"From this day forward til death do us part," Misty finished in a whisper. "Oh…" she choked out then ran out of the room. The redhead rushed downstairs and threw herself down on her husband's bed. "Ash, I'm so sorry," she sobbed out. "I'm so sorry."

Ash who had been sleeping until she rushed in, felt completely confused and utterly helpless at the same time. He had no idea why Misty was so upset, but he gathered that it was about him. He wanted nothing more than to be able to take his wife into his arms and give her the comfort she needed. But he couldn't.

Misty finally raised her head and looked at him with tear-filled blue eyes. "Please forgive me?" she whispered.

One look at her husband's eyes told her all she needed to know.

~*~

One month later, Ash Ketchum slipped into a coma, MND entering its final stage. The disease had so ravaged his motor neurones that hardly any were left to activate the muscles needed for vital organs such as the lungs. Deprived of the oxygen needed to survive, his organs began shutting down.

~*~

_Two weeks later…_

The first light of dawn began to creep through the sky over Pallet. In the Ketchum household, the only sound that could be heard was the ticking of the grandfather clock in the hallway.  
  
In their bedrooms, the children slept soundly, clutching their favourite soft toy to their chest as they slept. In another room, Misty turned over fitfully, relaxing once she had found a more comfortable position.  
  
In the downstairs bedroom, the only sound was the steady beeping of a heart monitor, and the snoring of a small pikachu curled up beside the prone figure in the bed.  
  
As the first rays of light began to creep in the windows, Ash's rate of breathing slowed considerably, the covers on the bed barely rising with each respiration.  
  
The heart monitor slowed to a crawl, a beep only coming every two minutes.  
  
The pikachu's ear flickered and she opened one little black eye. "_Pi_?"  
  
His chest rose once and then stilled, the machine displayed a flat line and let loose a monotonous beep.  
  
The tiny mouse nosed her trainer's hand but received no response. Pikachu whimpered in distress then crawled under his lifeless hand and curled into a small ball.  
  
Pikapi was finally free from his suffering. Pikapi's soul had been finally set free...

~*~

Gary rushed into the house. He had come as soon he had received the phone call from a distraught Misty.  
  
He enveloped the redhead into a comforting hug. He really felt for her, she was now a young widow with two young children to care for. He released her before noticing two small pairs of wide, frightened eyes looking at him from the corner of the room.  
  
He walked over to the two kids, Matthew and Ciara and knelt down. "Hey, you two..." he said softly.  
  
The seven-year-old Matthew spoke up first. "We're scared Unca Gary...."  
  
"Yeah," his five-year-old sister piped up, clutching her teddy bear.  
  
"Why can't we see Daddy? Why is Grandma and Mommy crying so much?" Matt asked gazing at him with big brown eyes. Ash's eyes...  
  
Gary enveloped the two of them into a hug, his heart breaking. How could he tell them that their father was dead?  
  
"Why are you crying, Unca Gary?" Gary was startled to see Ciara looking at him solemnly before raising a little hand and gently brushing away some tears that he didn't know had been there.  
  
What could he say to them? That he was crying for them, children who were left without their father. That he was crying for his best friend, who would never see his children grow up, would never see them get married.  
  
"I'm..crying..because your Daddy's finally not sick anymore...that your Daddy's gone to Heaven," he explained haltingly.  
  
"Daddy's not hurting anymore?" Matt asked wide-eyed. Fresh tears came to the older man's eyes as he marvelled at how much Matt resembled his father at the same age. Tousled black hair and expressive brown eyes with an insatiable curiosity for the world and all that was in it.  
  
"No he isn't..."  
  
"Does that mean Daddy has angel's wings?"  
  
Gary smiled. "Yes he does..." 

~*~

Gary walked up to the pulpit and faced the packed cathedral at Ash's funeral. Misty had asked him to give the eulogy and he had worked on it steadily through the week. This was the most important speech that he would ever have to give, and he wanted it to be true to the spirit of the man they were honouring. Sincere and straight from the heart.  
  
He looked out over the sea of faces, amazed at how many people had turned up. Sure a lot were to be expected, as Ash was Grand Master for so long..but he had never realised how many people Ash had helped over the years. How many lives he had touched.   
  
The Viridian Gym Leader's eyes fell on the flower-draped coffin, bathed in rays of soft sunlight streaming in through the cathedral windows. He took a deep breath and began.  
  
"It is an honour to stand here and pay tribute to one of the most remarkable men I have ever known. Ash and I grew up together in Pallet, and with the exception of a few years of intense rivalry - were the best of friends. We had the same goals and the same dreams." 

"Nobody who met Ash could deny that he had an exuberance for life and an positive outlook on everything. He also had one of the biggest hearts I have ever known. His love for his fellow humans and his Pokémon saw him risk his life time and time again, much to the chagrin of his family and friends." 

"Nobody can deny his passion for and his undeniable talent for Pokémon training. His courage and determination were boundless, he just refused to give up no matter how the odds were stacked against him. His bond with his Pokémon, especially Pikachu, were the strongest anyone has ever seen. They would do anything for him and vice versa.."  
  
"Well Ashy Boy. You did it. You learnt to 'fly' again just as you said you would. From the first diagnosis two years ago until the final two weeks, you refused to let the disease curb your spirit and remarkable zest for life. You taught us all what real courage was, what it took to face and come to terms with, such a debilitating condition. You taught us how terminally ill people should be treated with dignity and respect."

 "Most importantly of all, that though the body may be failing and weak, the spirit within can still be strong and full of fire. It is not the body that makes a man, but the mind and spirit."

 "It was an honour to know you."

~*~

After the service, the procession proceeded to the cemetery, where Ash was laid to rest beside the grave of his father. Misty sobbed onto the shoulder of Delia, clutching the hands of Matthew and Ciara as the coffin was lowered into the ground.

Gary watched as Ash's uncle stepped forward and released a white dove from his hands. The bird fluttered over the crowd of mourners for a bit, then flew off, going in ever widening spirals towards the heavens until it disappeared from view.

The symbolism was not lost on the Viridian Gym Leader as the words of a song that became one of Ash's favourites not long after the diagnosis came to mind.

_Take these broken wings_

_And learn to fly again_

_Learn to live so free_

_When we hear the voices sing_

_The book of love will open up_

_And let us in_

  
_The End_

_Author's Note: And so, the ending to a story which has been a labour of love. I hope that this has helped to create more awareness of a terrible disease which is relatively unknown. If it has, or it encourages someone to make a donation towards potentially lifesaving research – then I shall consider this a job well done._

_I do not claim to be an expert on MND. All I know is what I found out from research on the internet as well as information I received from the MND association in Australia. MND may have many different manifestations in different patients. The severity and longevity after the diagnosis also varies from patient to patient. I hope that I have managed to give the subject the justice it deserves_.


End file.
